Funny facebook updates | funny orkut updates...

FLIRTATIONSHIP; more than a friendship, less than a relationship.

I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell BITCH & I put down your name. :P

If Facebook was a school,i'll get a certificate for full attendance..

A professor's sorrow :
"I don't mind when students look at their watch during lectures,
But what hurts me is when they remove their watch & shake it to see if its working."

law of ConVERsatioN of KnowledgE....
" no matter how long da LecrturE may be...
bt da KnowledgE BeforE & AfteR LecturE remains da SamE "

 

It's Funny How 3 Words Can Change Your Mood.

" I Hate You "  " I Just Lied "   " You're A Bitch/Dog "

But The Worst Is... "Face-Book Log In Error"

 

 

Definition of fart :
Its the terrified scream of a trapped shit.

Son:how do u get babies
Mom:when ur Dad puts his thing between my legs

Son: but i saw him put it in ur mouth

Mom: thats how i get my jewellry...!! :P

Not even 2012,paranormal activity,shooting,bomb attacks or failing a class is more terryfyin than seeing 6 missed calls from mom!

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems… but if you think again neither does milk

ONLY 16% OF MEN SHAVE THEIR PRIVATES TO KEEP THEM HYGIENIC...INCLUDING ME......!

To all girls who die for "zero figure " remember real men go for curves, only dogs go for bones.

Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns… Ever notice how all women’s problems begin with men?

Why does'gay'also mean happy in English?

Because it doesn't involve women!!

I have come to the conclusion that Google must be female, as she has the answer to everything!

Physics Student - I will never forgive the apple that fell on Newton's head

Whenever I wanna fall in love with my books, my bed proposes me.